Speak Kindly To Yourself: How to Use Affirmations for Confidence and Positive Thinking
When was the last time you truly listened to the way you talk to yourself?
For many of us, that inner voice is quick to criticize and slow to forgive. I’ve been there—and if I’m honest, I still visit that place more often than I’d like. But the way we speak to ourselves matters—it shapes our confidence, our mindset, and the way we show up in the world. That’s where affirmations come in.
Affirmations aren’t about pretending life is perfect. They’re about choosing to speak kindly to yourself, especially when it’s hard. And over time, that kindness becomes confidence.
What It Means to “Speak Kindly to Yourself”
Kind self-talk isn’t cheesy or indulgent—it’s a form of emotional hygiene. Just like brushing your teeth, it’s something you do to take care of your mental space. There are days when the old voices still creep in, whispering that I’m not doing enough or not getting it right. But slowly, I’ve started to replace them with gentler truths. It’s not about ignoring flaws or challenges. It’s about saying:
“I see myself. I support myself. I believe in who I’m becoming.”
Speaking kindly doesn’t mean plastering on positivity. It means shifting from:
- “I always mess things up” → to → “I’m learning, and that’s okay.”
- “I’m not good enough” → to → “I am worthy as I am.”
Why Affirmations Help (Even When You’re Not Sure They Will)
Affirmations are short, intentional phrases that train your inner voice toward compassion and self-trust. When practiced regularly, they help rewire the mental loops of self-doubt and criticism.
They don’t need to be grand or dramatic. In fact, the best ones feel true enough to believe on a hard day—and strong enough to lift you up on a good one.
Here are a few of my affirmations I come back to:
- “I do not have to proof myself. I am and I receive!”
- “It is ok to be me. I don’t need to fit in!”
- “I am beautiful.”
- “I live abundant, and money follows everywhere I go.”
Building Your Own Affirmation Practice
To make affirmations work for you, keep these simple tips in mind:
- Choose what feels real. If “I am beautiful” feels too far away today, try “I’m learning to see my beauty in new ways.”
- Repeat daily. Like building a muscle, kind self-talk grows with consistent practice—say it out loud, or pair it with breathwork or journaling. Try repeating all of your affirmations or the one that feels/ fits best each morning, or writing them on a sticky note where you’ll see it often.
- Use it in the moment. When your inner critic shows up, pause. Take a breath. Offer yourself a kind phrase instead.
Affirmations In Action
Imagine you’re facing a setback. Old habits might tell you: “I failed. I’m not cut out for this.”
But a kind voice might say:
“This is hard, but I’ve done hard things before. I trust myself to keep going.”
You’re not lying to yourself—you’re choosing a voice that helps you move forward instead of shutting down.
Let Your Voice Be a Soft Place to Land—Be Kind, Not Perfect
I’m still learning how to speak to myself with kindness. Some days I get it right. Other days, I fall back into old patterns. But I’ve come to understand this: You are with yourself 100% of the time. Your thoughts are your constant companions. So make them kind.
Not perfectly kind, not all the time—but kind enough to help you keep going, keep growing, and keep believing.
Speak kindly to yourself.
Say it again.
Say it often.
And over time, you’ll start to believe it.