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Back To Happiness

Earlier this year, I hit one of those unexpected inner crossroads — the kind you don’t plan for, but suddenly you’re standing there wondering how you got there.

From the outside, everything in my life looked perfectly fine. But inside, something felt… off. There was this low-level ache, a restlessness I couldn’t explain. And to my surprise, a lot of old anger started coming back — things I thought I had already dealt with.

At first, I thought it was all about my job. I kept asking myself:

“Am I still on the right path? Is this really it?”

But the more I sat with it, the more I realized the anger wasn’t about work at all.

It was about something deeper. A feeling that I had lost touch with what actually makes me happy — beyond roles, responsibilities, and expectations.

That big question — Is this still my path, or is something else calling me? — became the starting point of a much deeper journey into what happiness really means for me. Not the “everything-is-perfect” version, but the kind that feels like purpose, honesty, alignment, and being fully myself again

The Four Agreements Re-centered Me

In the middle of that emotional storm, I ended up reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I got it as a present on Christmas, but didn’t touch it up until then.
If you know the book, you know its power lies in its simplicity. These four ideas became my compass:

  • I don’t take things personally.
  • I don’t make assumptions.
  • I don’t speak badly about myself.
  • I am doing my best.

 

They helped me re-claim what I can control. They pulled me out of spirals and back into perspective — supported by a great coach who mirrored back what I couldn’t yet see.

Slowly, the noise softened.

Following Purpose: Mentoring & Psychology

What came next surprised me.

I suddenly felt pulled toward things that gave me meaning — not because they were on any “to-do” list, but because they lit something inside me.

I became a voluntary mentor.
And then, almost without thinking, I signed up for an introductory psychology course.

If you had asked me before, I would’ve sworn I’d never go “back to school.”
But when something comes from inner motivation — curiosity, passion, purpose — you don’t force it. You want it. You create space for it.

Stumbling Into the Science of Happiness

One evening I watched a TED Talk by Martin Seligman: The New Era of Positive Psychology (TED Talk)

And suddenly, everything clicked.

I realized I wasn’t just restless.
I was searching for happiness beyond my job. A deeper completeness.
Something I could feel in my bones, not just tick off a list.

So I started reading about happiness — what it actually is — and a few things stood out:

Three Components of Happiness (Noba Project)

  • Life satisfaction: How you evaluate your life as a whole.
  • Positive affect: The frequency of positive emotions.
  • Negative affect: The relative absence of negative emotions.

 

What Influences Happiness?

  • Internal factors: Personality, optimism, mindset habits
  • External factors: Health, relationships, financial stability, societal support

 

Money matters up to a point — enough to meet needs.
But beyond that, the returns are small. (Diener & Seligman, 2004)

Seligman also frames happiness through three “lives”:

  • The Pleasant Life
  • The Good (Engaged) Life
  • The Meaningful Life

…And I could suddenly see myself gravitating toward the last one.

The Power of Adaptation: Why Setbacks Don’t Define Us

One of the most comforting findings from happiness research is this: Humans adapt.

When something amazing happens — a promotion, falling in love, a dream trip — our happiness rises…
and then gradually returns to a baseline.

But the same is true for setbacks.

Grief, disappointment, heartbreak, stress — all of these hit hard. They shake the surface. They can make life feel grey. But over time, most people return to their previous levels of happiness.

Not always fully. Not overnight.
But steadily.

This idea changed something for me: A difficult phase doesn’t mean I’m “broken.” It just means I’m human.

In Matthieu Ricard’s TED Talk, he describes it perfectly with a metaphor: The Habits of Happiness (TED Talk)
He says our emotions are like the ocean surface — sometimes calm, sometimes chaotic.
But happiness is like the deep sea: steady, vast, and stable underneath.

That image stayed with me.
Because this year, my surface was stormy.
But somewhere underneath, a more grounded version of happiness was waiting to be rediscovered.

My Personal Happiness “Temperature Check”

Couple of years back, during therapy, I already created a simple framework to check in with myself:

  • Family & friends
  • Partner / love life
  • Job
  • Hobbies & passions

 

If one of them was starving, I felt it (slightly) everywhere.

This check-in becomes more so now a way, to see not only where I struggle, but where I can take small, meaningful action.

So how to end? Honestly, none of this would’ve changed if I hadn’t looked inward. Happiness doesn’t magically appear from outside — it grows from the inside out. Not easy, not always pleasant, but surely rewarding when done.

If You Want to Dive Deeper & Get Inspired

Here are all the sources that inspired this post — plus a few extra if you want to explore further:

Books

 

Happiness & Psychology Resources

 

TED Talks